


You'll Always Be My Only Guiding Light

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)



Series: GatheringFiKi - 12 Days of Christmas 2018 [8]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Fusion, Angst and Feels, Fighter Fili, Force Sensitive Kili, Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Mechanical Specialist Fili, Pilot Kili
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 01:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17091287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe
Summary: In a galaxy far, far away, two runaway princes were found and adopted by some very powerful people. Two years later, the youngest prince has been injured in battle and secrets are being revealed.





	You'll Always Be My Only Guiding Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girlmarvel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlmarvel/gifts).



> Written for the GatheringFiKi - 12 Days of Christmas 2018 on Tumblr
> 
> Inspired by this [photoset](http://damnitfili.tumblr.com/post/163449946738/fiki-week-day-five-inspired-by) by [Girlmarvel/Damnitfili](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlmarvel/profile)

When the alarm went off, Fili froze in mid-stride. That particular alarm was only ever used for one thing. The use of that alarm meant that one of the squadrons had been attacked and the entire base was now on high alert. He forced himself to move, and then he was in an all-out _run_. Kili's squadron had been one of the ones up in the sky running drills and checking their perimeters to make sure that they were still in tact and that none of the ships and soldiers of the First Order had been able to infiltrate their defenses. _Kili_ had not yet reported in before the alarm was sounded -- and neither had the leader of his squadron.

With both Kili and Poe Dameron being silent and nowhere to be found, Fili could only expect that the worst had happened. He slammed into the command room and immediately caught the gaze of their General. She shook her head slightly and he bit his lip in response to that quiet message. _No word on Kili, yet._

Trying to keep calm, he slid into his seat at one of the terminals and then heard the droid roll up next to him. BB-8 was making several whirring and clicking sounds of distress. They were coming so fast that Fili was having a hard time translating them, so he placed a gentle hand on the droid's head.

"Slow down, buddy," he murmured in his most calm and comforting voice. "I'm sure that they're okay. There's no way that Poe and Kili would allow themselves to be taken out by any First Order assholes while they're up there checking on things for us."

He knew he sounded a lot more confident than he felt. He kept murmuring things to the Droid and was relieved when BB-8 calmed down enough to start speaking to him. He felt a gentle press on his inner shields, and since he was very familiar with the owner, he lowered them and let her into his mind -- a trick that previously only he and Kili had been able to do with each other.

" _Han and Chewy are on their way up there to find out what's going on. I'm sure they're fine."_

He nodded, trying to relax. _"Thank you, General. I know they probably are but it's just hard when all contact is cut off between us. It's better now than it used to be but..."_

 _"I am pretty sure I told you to call me Leia when we're talking where no one else can hear."_ Her mental voice was warm, just like it always was when she was seeking to reassure him. _"I understand, though, Fili. For too long it was just the two of you on your own and now, even though you have a family now, that instinct within you to protect and defend him is still strong."_

_"Force of habit, like many things."_

_"Believe me, I understand. It's still very hard for me to let Han and Luke out of my sight -- especially now as I have just once again gotten them returned to me.""_ The doors to the command room opened again and both Fili and Leia turned to see Luke entering with his newest apprentice and her companion at his side.

"Luke?" Leia questioned, searching his face, worried about what she was seeing there.

"They're all alive but one, and that's because his ship was taken out before the others could do anything to help."

Fili stood from his seat, knowing that his face had probably gone pale, something that Rey noticed and quickly responded to.

"No, it wasn't Kili. Kili is still with us, hurt, but alive." She gave one of her smiles. "I can still feel his mind, Fili. He's alive and he'll be back to your arms, soon."

Sometimes Fili got itchy and worried about the fact that he and Kili were now in the company of real Jedi and those who were sensitive to the Force. It wasn't that he didn't trust them completely with their lives, but that he was still keeping a few secrets from them. They weren't secrets that would endanger the Rebellion in any way -- but they could endanger he and Kili's place among them.

Like the fact that Kili was actually his brother. Or the fact that the reason they had been on their own so long was because of their blood and that most of their family were involved in the higher levels of their enemy. They had one uncle who was even a member of the Knights of Ren.

However, right now Fili managed to smile at Rey, thankful that she had let him know immediately that Kili was alive. "And Commander Dameron?" Because it was very well known that Kili's mentor and teacher was very much involved with the Jedi apprentice and the man who stood next to her right now. Finn was someone that Fili had become fast friends with and he could see concern in his eyes.

Luke sighed and looked from where he had been conversing with his twin to Fili. "He's alive and in a very high temper."

"Why?" From the look on the Jedi Master's face, Fili was pretty sure that he wasn't going to like what was about to be said.

"Kili was hurt because he was protecting Poe." Finn said quietly. "And you know how he gets about that."

Fili nodded because he did get it and he did understand it, as well. Poe Dameron took looking out for his men pretty damn seriously. He also took it even more seriously when one of those men was someone he had adopted and felt personally responsible for since he was training him in everything he himself knew. He was almost as protective of Kili as Fili was, and the _almost_ was only because no one was as protective of his brother as he was.

"Do we know exactly what happened, yet?" Leia asked, sliding back into the role of General as more people started arriving.

"Only that somehow, a few fighters got through the hot zones and into our atmosphere," one of the new arrivals said as he read from the data pad in his hands. "We'll need to look into how they were able to breach those. They got into the atmosphere and were spotted by Durin. Right as Durin sent up the alert, one of the ships was fired on and destroyed. The rest of the Squadron went into battle formation. They were able to take out three of the four attackers before Commander Dameron was hit and his ship lost shields and weaponry. By this time they were flying low over the Glass Sea as he tried to evade his pursuer and the weapons being fired at him. Durin followed them and crashed his ship into the enemy ship to get him away from Commander Dameron as he was too close to fire his weapons without the risk of hitting Dameron's ship, as well."

Fili was struck with the urge to pound his fist into the man's face for seeming so detached and unaffected by the news he was giving them. Didn't he realize that these two men he was discussing with such clinical efficiency had people that loved them and were worried about them? Catching Finn's eyes and his nod to where Rey had fisted her hands, he could see that he was not the only one that was feeling that way.

"Where did Kili's ship go down," Leia demanded, keeping the three younger people from being too tempted to react with violence since these were men they cared deeply for.

"Kili?"

"The Pilot Durin," Leia said calmly, but the look in her eyes as she gazed at the messenger was steely. "Where did his ship go down?"

"The Glass Sea."

Fili felt like he had just been punched and all of his breath left him. Kili had crashed into the sea? Kili, who was terrified of deep water was in his ship in the very water he was afraid of? He clutched the back of his chair so tightly that he knew he was probably bending the metal and his mind was suddenly buzzing. He had to get to him. Kili needed him. Kili hated the deep, dark waters and was probably scared and calling for him and he was --

Light suddenly flashed in his eyes, but when he blinked it didn't look like anyone had moved.

Except Luke Skywalker was looking at him with far too much understanding in his own blue eyes.

Luke Skywalker, the Jedi Master who always seemed to know everything.

When Fili met the Jedi Master's eyes, he could see the concern, and the compassion. There was never a lack of compassion when Luke or Leia were around. They cared deeply for their people -- and those that were tapped as _family_. Fili still didn't understand it, but for some reason, he and Kili had began to be filed under the heading of family, as well. Something that amazed Kili beyond everything even as it led Fili to feel a great deal of concern about it. Being held so close could reveal far too much.

"We need to get someone there to help with salvaging the ship and getting Kili out of it," Leia said, her voice firm as she looked around them at other members of the rebellion. "As soon as someone lets us know all threats are neutralized, I want everything we can spare down there and getting our man."

Rey's voice spoke up. "Kili is no longer in the water. Poe dove in and broke something in the cockpit to get him out -- but he didn't say what he may have destroyed to do so."

Luke shrugged, not looking away from Fili. "Metal and machine can be repaired or even replaced. Men cannot. _Kili_ cannot."

Fili suddenly knew without a doubt that Luke Skywalker knew several truths about him and Kili and who they were, and now he needed to find out what he planned to do about it -- and if he had time to get he and his brother safely away.

He no sooner formed that thought then he saw Luke's eyes widen with alarm and he shook his head. Before he could think about that, he felt the presence of the Jedi pressing against his mental barriers and seeking permission for access. Like he was going to refuse? With a defeated sigh, he opened his mind up to Luke, allowing him access to everything he was and had ever been.

He fully expected that when Luke was done, he would be made to leave, and so would Kili. It would break their hearts, but they would survive, they would always survive. They hadn't been broken yet and they'd already experienced being ousted from one family. What new kind of damage would losing another do? Just because this one was a family that aligned more with what they believed in and were fighting for the right things? They'd survive and they'd eventually find another place to settle.

_"You fear much, Oakenshield, but you have no need to fear being sent away. You're family... even Chewbacca says that and Chewy doesn't usually warm up to anyone for a long time. I've always known what you and Kili are to each other."_

Fili knew he looked shocked. _"You knew... and you allowed us to stay? You kept our secret from your twin... from our General?"_

Fili heard two sets of laughter in his mind... and one was very distinctly female.

_"I would never be able to keep a secret from Leia, but the two of us are uniquely suited to understand part of the situation you two find yourselves in. The only difference is that we have Han with us, as well."_

It took him several long moments to realize what he had just been told and by the time he could make sense of it, Luke had withdrawn from his mind, leaving behind a simple message. _"We have much to discuss about your past."_

Oh, yeah there would be other stuff that the two of them would need to answer for and explain. They could handle that. If they were able to accept the relationship that he and Kili had, then maybe having to deal with the pain of their past and why they were hiding would be easier than he thought.

Fili was pulled from his thoughts by an annoyed shout that came from somewhere outside of the command center.

"No, you are not taking him from be and I do not need the help of a pile of Bantha spit to take care of my friend. You either get out of my way or I am going to shoot you!"

"...Commander Poe your blaster is likely water damaged and..."

"Get. Out. Of. My. Way."

Fili was the first one into the corridor and then he was running in the direction he had heard the shouting come from. From the feel and sounds of things, he was being closely followed by Rey and Finn. When he turned the corner, he found a very soggy and furious looking Commander Poe Dameron facing off with another rebellion soldier. Held in his arms, looking wet and unconscious, was Kili.

"Leave him be," Rey growled even as the three of them put themselves between the bristling combatants.

Fili pushed the others out of his mind and he focused on his unconscious brother. He reached out hesitantly to touch his face, worried about what he would feel when he made contact with his skin.

"He's alive and will remain that way," Poe reassured him, relaxing slightly now that the others he called family were surrounding them. He met Fili's eyes. "I didn't ask him to do what he did. I never would have. He's like a brother to me..."

Fili gave him a slight smile. "Which is why he did it, Poe. Kili sees you as family and he would have done anything to try to help you, even at the risk of his own life."

"He shouldn't do that when he has someone who loves him waiting on his safe return."

This time Fili laughed. "I believe you have two people who say you do the same thing to them. Remember, you trained us, Poe. We know you. All of us would do the same for each other. It's what family does." At least true families like they had found here.

Poe shook his head but didn't resist handing over his precious burden to Fili. "Take him to medical. I'll give my reports and then we'll join you. General Solo will probably have returned by then."

Fili nodded, cradling Kili close to his body. He gave Poe a faint smile and turned to walk down the corridor in the direction of the medical unit. Kili felt cold to the touch, but he was trying not to panic. After all, hadn't two Jedis and a Commander just told him his beloved would recover? He knew that they wouldn't lie to him, but it was hard not to be afraid when the one that meant everything to him was so still and pale.

Once he entered the medical unit, he was directed to lay Kili down on one of the beds by the attending droid. The human doctor looked up and smiled at him. "General Solo and Commander Dameron communicated the situation, Specialist Oakenshield. We'll place Pilot Durin in the chamber and get him taken care of immediately."

Fili tried not to look as frightened as he felt. "Is he going to be alright?"

"Yes, he will be."

Fili knew he would have to be satisfied with that until his brother was healed and walking on his own. He sighed, sitting down as close to Kili as he could and then let his mind brush against his brother's.

_"You need to be more careful, Kili. I cannot lose you."_

There was silence on the other end of the bond and just when Fili was ready to panic, he felt a gentle brush against his mind. _"I'm sorry, love. I didn't have time to think. I just knew I couldn't let that bastard kill Poe. Rey and Finn would have been devastated."_

 _"Like I would have been had I lost you?"_ He sent a strong feeling of love and worry through their bond. _"When I heard about the attack and then your crash into the lake..."_

_"It was so dark, Fili! So dark and I was scared and I couldn't breathe."_

Fili was nearly knocked off the chair with the feel of Kili's panic as it slammed into him through the bond. _"Kili, Kee! You're safe, love, you're safe. Poe got you out of there and brought you back to me."_

He could feel Kili's panic start to ease up and he hated that he couldn't touch him to reassure him that he was safe and that he was near. That feeling was not helped when the chamber fogged up and he could barely make out the shape of his brother within. He had never been comfortable with the healing chambers, but this was the first time he had had to watch someone he loved be placed into it. In the past, most of their wounds were dealt with in a different manner. They were from an outer rim planet and healing technology such as this was reserved for the truly dangerous wounds.

Eredluin was only for stone-carved warriors, after all.

Being the heirs of the ruling family of their planet would have meant that they would have been taken care of by technology like this only if they were near death. Other wounds would have been taken care of a lot differently -- more rudimentary as it supposedly made them stronger. Fili could count on his fingers the number of times he and Kili had been hurt or ill and had to tough it out. Unlike most First Order families, there was no softness or coddling of their heirs on their planet. They were the heirs for only as long as they could keep themselves strong and bring glory -- first to planet and then to family.

It was that upbringing that had made Fili want to find a better life for his brother. His brother who had a power running through him that no one understood. His brother who saw or heard things that no one should have. His brother that he had killed for more than once. He had always loved him more than he should have and his family would often use Kili against him; either to force him to do something or to curb his rebelliousness. The day Kili was forced into a battle with soldiers who far outclassed him with the intention of _toughening him up_ had been the day Fili had decided to run. They had been forced to wait a few days until Kili was able to walk on his own again, but as soon as he was up, he and Fili had fled.

If they didn't, Fili was worried about what would happen to his brother. Either he would be broken down and molded into the perfect soldier for their family, he'd be taken by the Knights of Ren, or he'd be killed because he wasn't hard enough. Kili could never have been what they wanted him to be even though he tried so hard sometimes.

They fled their family, the First Order, and their planet. Eredluin had never been a home to them and Fili was determined to find them a home. He was determined to find a place where Kili and his unique gifts would be safe. Gifts that even though he had never had, Kili had shown him that there was something in him, as well. After all, the bond between them from the time Kili was born had not been formed by Kili alone.

He still wasn't sure how they had been found by Poe and Finn, but Fili thanked the Force every day that they had been.

He thought it had been a random run-in the night Poe and Finn had cornered them, but now he knew it hadn't been. The two men had been sent after them specifically. At first, the two of them had fought like animals, afraid that they had been sent by their family to find them. When Fili and Kili had stood with their backs against the wall and Kili had said that he'd die before going back, the other two men had been shocked. Once they understood the fear and desperation they were witnessing, it had been Finn that explained. They hadn't been sent by their family at all. General Leia Organa -- by way of Rey -- had sent them to bring the two to a safe place.

For the past two years since that night, they had worked, trained and learned with these people. They had been given the kind of family that they had never had. For two years they had managed to hide -- or so Fili had thought -- that he and Kili were brothers as well as lovers.

They should have known that they couldn't hide things from Jedi or other Force-sensitive people. After all, it had been Luke who had explained how Kili could do all of the things he had always been able to do. And how Fili could sense a few things, as well.

He was pulled from his memories by the arrival of more people into the medical unit. He smiled when he saw his three friends. He should have expected that they would join him when Poe was done making his reports to Leia. The five of them could usually be found together whenever it was possible.

"How is he doing," Finn asked.

Fili tried to smile but ended up shrugging helplessly. "They fogged it up, so I don't know. She said he's going to be all right but..."

Poe nodded. "I was the same way when Finn was hurt. Rey and I knew he would be all right and we kept being told that, but it's hard to believe it when they're lying so still in front of you and you can't see their eyes."

Fili nodded. That was exactly it. "It's never good when I can't see his eyes watching the world like he does or seeing his smile." _Or feeling him in his arms._ "I keep feeling guilty because I wasn't there to protect him."

"He had Poe with him," Finn reminded him. "You and I are pilots, but we aren't pilots like they are and probably never will be. We are damned good fighters but were not meant to be up there. They had each other up there like they needed when the battle happened."

"I know and I'm really glad about that. I just... I've never dealt very well when he's gotten hurt and I couldn't prevent it or protect him."

"Where you don't have to hide who you are to each other."

Fili's head jerked and he stared at Poe, dread pooling in his stomach. "What do you mean, hide? Everyone knows he belongs to me and I belong to him. We've never hidden the fact that we're lovers."

Rey tilted her head and the two men just looked at him. Fili tried to keep the protective mask over his features, but then sighed and slumped in the chair. His three friends came over to him, closing ranks as if they were shielding him from view. He was searching for words, trying to figure out the best way to explain things and keep their found family intact. After all, just because Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa accepted what he and Kili were to each other, it didn't mean that everyone who knew them would.

He sighed, biting the inside of his cheek as he pondered what to say, knowing that he had to be completely honest with them. If he had any chance of keeping them as friends and family, he had to tell the full truth. Nodding, he lifted his head, stiffening as he looked at all three of them.

"Kili's my brother," he confessed in a quiet tone.


End file.
